I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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