Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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