Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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