i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize