I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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