If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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