marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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