I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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