It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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