I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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