if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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