all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize