My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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