My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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