omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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