just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
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