if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize