haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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