Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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