New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize