i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize