She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
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There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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