WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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