Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize