wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize