he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize