Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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