She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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