Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize