I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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