How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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