yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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