I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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