Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This baby is an asshole
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize