What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize