omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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