fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize