I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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