Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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