Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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