Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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