I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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