My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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