Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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