super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize