My friends, they love my intelligence
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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