People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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