is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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