2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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