Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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